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Some of my trauma took the form of sexual assault or rape, really making things difficult in the bedroom. Sex is sacred to me. To me, sex is a deeply spiritual experience , sharing our energy.

I feel like a piece of me missing and I have to put the pieces back together alone. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes.

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I find you to be very attractive. Baranowski and Hecht repeated the study with a minor change — adjusting the location from a college campus to the more socially correct nightclub.

By all reasonable measurements, this should have affected the results — after all, nightclubs and bars are locations where the social contract encourages approaching strangers and looking to hook up for the night.

So one would think that we could consider this particular myth confirmed, right? Well… perhaps not.

Was it simply a matter of a lack of interest, or were there other factors involved? Baranowski and Hecht zeroed in on a commonly overlooked fact in these studies: women face greater personal and social risks when it comes to sex.

During the study, they were presented with pictures of ten members of the opposite sex and told that — among other details — all ten of these individuals were interested in meeting up with them, either for a date or for sex.

The results were astounding. Of course, this is in a laboratory setting, which by its nature is going to affect the answers. You got yours, let her get hers!

In fact, in a study of over 24, students over the course of five years , researchers found that men in general were more concerned with pleasing their girlfriends than their more casual encounters.

Not surprisingly, casual sex tended to include fellatio more often but very little cunnilingus for her. It becomes part and parcel of the hook-up — the guy gets his rocks off, then has the balls as it were to turn around and denigrate the woman he literally just finished up in.

The idea is simple: treat your potential sex-partners with respect. You can be sexual without being crude or boorish.

You can indicate an interest in sex without being a pushy asshole.

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To me, sex is a deeply spiritual experience , sharing our energy. I feel like a piece of me missing and I have to put the pieces back together alone.

You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here …. Ginelle Testa Ginelle Testa's an avid wordsmith.

In the rare moments she isn't writing, you can find her holding her own in a recreational street hockey league, thrifting eclectic attire, and imperfectly practicing Buddhism.

Follow her on Insta! By Amanda Chatel. By Averi Clements. By Amy Horton. By Lyndsie Robinson. By Kate Ferguson. By Sarah Burke. Search Search for:.

About Contact Privacy Policy. Facebook Instagram Pinterest. Baranowski and Hecht zeroed in on a commonly overlooked fact in these studies: women face greater personal and social risks when it comes to sex.

During the study, they were presented with pictures of ten members of the opposite sex and told that — among other details — all ten of these individuals were interested in meeting up with them, either for a date or for sex.

The results were astounding. Of course, this is in a laboratory setting, which by its nature is going to affect the answers. You got yours, let her get hers!

In fact, in a study of over 24, students over the course of five years , researchers found that men in general were more concerned with pleasing their girlfriends than their more casual encounters.

Not surprisingly, casual sex tended to include fellatio more often but very little cunnilingus for her. It becomes part and parcel of the hook-up — the guy gets his rocks off, then has the balls as it were to turn around and denigrate the woman he literally just finished up in.

The idea is simple: treat your potential sex-partners with respect. You can be sexual without being crude or boorish. You can indicate an interest in sex without being a pushy asshole.

That woman at the bar, that classmate at the party or even the cute girl you had your eye on at the bookstore may not necessarily be interested in playing hide-the-sandworm but may every well open for some other mutually fulfilling activities.

Treating, say, mutual oral, as an end to itself instead of a preliminary act or a consolation prize opens up wider possibilities in partners.

The difficulty in finding people who are down for a casual hook-up has less to do with any biological differences between male and female libidos and more to do with the behavior of the men involved.

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